i don't remember ever being interested in the death penalty and not knowing about troy davis. for as long as i have cared about the death penalty, i have known about his case and have been appalled at how crazy every thing seemed to be. and, despite knowing that we have a deeply flawed justice system, a part of me has always believed that troy davis wouldn't get executed, that there just was too much doubt for this to happen. this is america. our criminal justice system can't be THAT atrocious.
but, alas, it was. troy anthony davis was executed by the state of georgia on wednesday, september 21st.
between the time i started working at dpic and davis's execution, there were 94 executions carried out across the united states (davis was the 95th). those 94 executions represented both offenders who have committed heinous acts, like the dc sniper (john allen muhammed), and offenders with severe mental illness who never even pulled the trigger, like teresa lewis. some offenders were nationals of foreign countries who were not granted access to their embassy so they can be helped. one offender formerly served in the military and was suffering from ptsd at the time he committed his murder.
i admit that, in my line of work, i have become desensitized to executions. for a while, i had a checklist taped to my monitor consisting of all the things i needed to update after an execution was carried out. after a while, i didn't need the checklist anymore, and executions became just one more thing on my work to-do list. update that webpage, fix the downloadable fact sheet, input the new information into the database.
there had been 94 executions in the united states in the time i worked at dpic. troy davis was the 95th.
but it was the first time i cried.
that night, i laid awake in bed and cried for a good 30 minutes. i'd never cried over any other executed inmate before. i also never wondered whether it was even worth it to go to work the next day, something i'd also never done after any other execution. for some reason, troy was different (except he really wasn't, but we'll talk more about that later).
i met his sister when i first started working here, two years ago. she was awesome. she beat cancer, and at the time, she was fighting for her brother's life. what an inspiration. troy davis's mother passed away just a few months before he was executed. when he died, i thought, "well now, they can spend all the time they want with each other."
troy is in a better place now. i know that because everything i've ever heard said about him talks about how faithful he was. he is somewhere where the deeply flawed criminal justice system can't do him any more harm. he is no longer treated less than human by prison officials or looked at with hate by the family of the man whose life he allegedly took.
but we're still here, dealing with this system. and i still have to go to work every day.
the truth is, even though troy davis was raised up by the media as some sort of special outlier, there really is nothing unique about his case. the safeguards that should have kept him from being executed have broken down for other people too. the flaws in the georgia criminal justice system that allowed his execution, despite the overwhelming amount doubt about his guilt, also exist in other states' criminal justice systems.
so while the outcry on his behalf was great, there needs to be more outcry on behalf of more inmates facing execution because most death penalty cases are not unlike troy davis.
so while i cried for troy davis that night, i really should have cried for the other 94 people who were executed while i've worked here. i also should have cried for the other guy who was executed the same night as troy and for the two men who have been executed since then.
i think going into work the day after troy davis's execution was one of the toughest things i've ever had to do in life. but what ultimately got me going, and what has kept me going since then, was the new wave of interest in the death penalty. the night of his execution, our website was shut down for a few hours because of heavy traffic. we had over 500 new subscribers in the days following. troy got more people to pay attention to the death penalty than any other defendant i have ever seen. and i am thankful for that.
i am also thankful for all the things i get to do, the things i get to be a part of. i'm not a litigator or an organizer, so i don't come in contact with death row inmates or i am not roaming the halls of state capitals talking to representatives. because of that, i sometimes feel like my job is negligible or insignificant. and then sometimes, i have days where i am in absolute awe of the things i have been given the privilege to do. it is SURREAL. and sometimes, surreal is an understatement. it's truly a blessing.
today is one of those good days. i met with prominent international officials who have significant diplomatic influence. and i (little ol' me) told them (the awesome, powerful people) about the death penalty. THEY asked ME questions because i knew stuff they didn't know. really? i mean... REALLY??
today, i also heard a recording of troy davis's last words. he addressed the murder victims' family, encouraged his friends and family to keep praying and reasserted his innocence. and then, his final, closing words were, "for those about to take my life, may God have mercy on all of your souls. God bless you all."
sound familiar?
today, troy reminded me of a larger lesson, of why i cared about the death penalty to begin with: that there is no place for hate for someone who knows how to forgive, for someone who understands God's mercy. he may have been on death row for 20 years, but i'm pretty sure troy has been free for a really long time.
we should all be so lucky.
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