you can fail at a goal...

so my friend Ash and i have been "training" for a 5K "together" for the last few months. she made it one of her goals this year to run a 5K and it was on my things to do before 25 list, so it just seemed like a good idea to try to run together. anyway, she's been amazing at the training while my busyness has not allowed me to run as much as i would like. but, the training plan i've been following assures me that i will be able to run a 5K in a few more weeks, so Ash and i have our eye on a 5K on April 30th that may be our first 5K attempt.

now, i know some of you out there who are avid runners probably think that we are sissies. but the truth is, i've NEVER EVER been a runner, so the fact that i can now jog for 20 mins straight on the treadmill is one of the biggest accomplishments ever in life. but that doesn't mean that i'm not TERRIFIED at the idea of running 3.1 miles outside in front of so many people. WHAT IF I FAIL?

so Ash and i were talking last night about me being scared and she was of course optimistic (she always is). at some point the following conversation transpired:

Ash: we can do it! the worst thing that could happen is that we don't make it to the end.
Me: what?! can I do that?!
Ash: of course, you can. you can fail at a goal.

okay. maybe she said something blatant and obvious, but i think that totally changed my life. a few posts ago, i was remarking at how i've come to terms with the fact i won't be able to accomplish all the goals on my list before i turn 25 (in less than a month!). but in my head, the reason i would not accomplish such goals would be because i wouldn't have even had the chance to ATTEMPT them. but... the idea of not accomplishing something because of a failed attempt had never crossed my mind.

i love the journey of GRACE and SURRENDER that this goals list is turning out to be. when i first set out these goals, my own expectations were to have certain experiences and accomplishments under my belt, a sort of attempt to say that i have made something of my life these last 25 years. but i guess that goes back to my life being defined by WORKS, as opposed to be being defined by the God who is GRACE and LOVE.